Today is my anniversary.

A year ago I was recruited by my master to be his pupil, family student of Tao.

That was on 20th November, 2010.

I still remember the day and I won’t  forget  the day rest of my life.

When he asked me to be his special student, I consented on the spot immediately.

His face went red and smiled in a little bit embarrassment in front of me.

I remember his face very distinctly.

On the night of 20th November 2010, I couldn’t sleep at all with excitement and joy from my soul and my whole existence.

I felt very well in spite of lack of sleep next morning.

All the night I kept thinking about one thing.

I’ve heard he never takes any pupils so far in his workshops, so I wondered if he already had his own several pupils in the world in reality.

 I simply asked my master next day that he has already had special students in the world or not.

Then, he told me that so many his students want to be his own pupils, but he wants to recruit only me.

I was just so excited to hear that from him.

After chatting him, I wanted to scream to the world that I became His Family!!!

After all, he is like a superman and the Master of  Tao.

My joy can’t capable to express in my limited words.

To be his special student was my aspiration ever since I met him in the workshop.

His demand and my desire met here.

However, since then my emotions flew out in me like a tornado.

I think he IS amazing and best master in the world.

I was proud of myself being his family student, but I felt fear at the same time.

Of course being his special one is honor to me, but his existence is too big for me to be his special.

I don’t know if I deserve his own student, nor ask anyone.

I’ve been suffering for a while and I couldn’t tell anyone about my suffer.

At last I couldn’t bear to keep my emotion and the suffer in me any longer.

So I decided to tell several people who knows my mater, but each one’s reaction is not joyful for me.

I imagined people would feel  happy for me and blessing me, but only I could find them feel of jealous.

People seemed not to like that I am special one.

One said to me he never takes his own disciple. I felt she wanted to say to me I am just in my dream or something…..

When I showed the other one the stones that my master gave me,  she said he used to give the same stones to everybody.  But I am so sure that my master gave me special stones from another planet…..

He is my own master, but he is also teacher of everyone who wants to learn the art of  Tao.

 I also understand their feelings and it is Ok to me that you hurt me if you want.

Everyone wants to feel that “I am special,” including me.

The truth is that you are the special one because you are that you are.

I’ve just accept their responses and reactions and I don’t have any feeling of blaming anyone.

Recently I naturally came to feel I am that I am and I don’t need any” title” anymore.

Miraculously, I met an woman who had become grand master of Tao the other day.

She shared me her story with her grand master in my daily lives and it helped me a lot and release my negative emotion.

I am so happy and very blessed to be his family student, but it is also OK if I don’t get the title from him because I am that I am.

I need my brand name, not from him!!

I won’t tell anyone that I am his family student anymore in my reality, but I believe that my master will tell everyone about my existence when the right time comes.

I know nobody reads my blog and I never let my friends know this blog either.

I am so forgettable, that’s why I am writhing this.

I just want to remember my anniversary and the day made me change my whole life.

To remember the past, the time start flowing…

To think about future, the time start moving again….

Usually I stay in the moment and the moment is forever.

I live in the moment.

Luckily, my master is going to celebrate my one year anniversary for being his family to gether from now on….

I can’t wait to see him in person…..

Love you all….

Advertisements